no. 1 killer

one of my programmate's father was diagnosed with acute leukemia.... and a very famous Canadian celebrity was also diagnosed with another kind of leukemia, CML if i'm not wrong. i just can hardly imagine how this seldomly-heard disease become this popular.

one of my uncles on my father's side had nose cancer around 10 years ago. that was a very hard period of time for his family. he was at the last stage of the cancer and he chose not to proceed with chemotherapy because it would be no use and a waste of money. his condition worsened and worsened until he lost all the memories about us, his family, his friends....

maybe i've read too many love stories, i just can't imagine how people can bear with being forgotten by the most loved one. i'm sure my aunty-in-law must be very depressed, to witness the whole process of he losing memories of everything, including herself and himself. the one who's forgetting isn't really suffering. it is the one who's being forgotten suffered most.

cancer, which is a rarely heard disease 50 years ago, how did it grab its ground and infiltrate into so many people's lives... my shallow understanding is, using big words and big concepts, mankind is to be blamed. if the air and water are not polluted, if the trees are not cut down, if fewer non-disintegratable materials are produced, everything could be better.

mankind, worst and best thing God has ever created.

i'm very satisfied with the template look right now. my 1 hour effort paid off.
gonna brainstorm on my essay.
will write some for my new chapter as well.

this place is deserted

i kinda give up on the template editing. since when blogspot changed to such a weird html code system which causes so much hassle for me. well, i admit that it could be my insufficiency in this knowledge.

i'm supposed to write an essay for an award application. it's due the end of march, but i haven't touched on a single word. just simply don't have the mood to write ENGLISH stuff.

i've been writing a chinese novel, and quite diligent in updating it online. everytime i say to myself that this time slot should be assigned to writing the application essay, in the end i'll sit there brainstorm my stories for my next novel chapter.

besides i haven't been writing for eons, so i decided to come back to this deserted area for some writing practice, so that i won't be so flustered when the time comes i.e. march 31st.

i went for a performance by the toronto symphony ochestra. nice, enchanting, but some pieces were just way too long and relaxing. well, it's good enough. you know it could be more hypnotising...

tmr i might post something about it. today i'm just too tired, can't wait to climb onto my dearest beddie...

Grad school again

grades were posted up on rosi. expected a higher grade for 473 but it came to me as a huge disappointment. didn't do well for 471. flunked 426.

now i realise signalling is really a stupid course. i took it cos it's said to be easy. apparently it's not the case at all. i would've even gotten much better marks if i took those hated protein courses! not easy at all. damn. don't get fooled by what ppl say.

so i begin to think, even if i come back for grad school i shouldn't take biochem or maybe even science. i'm not planning to further studies in this area, why bothering taking so much trouble for nothing? i should choose sth i like or useful for my future. my friend suggested management, um, that may not be a bad idea at all, if i'm qualified for it.

Grad school

I think i probably won't be accepted into biochem. my midterm marks were out and they suck. not a little bit. right now i'm very depressed. i understand the reason of not doing well, but it's still hard to accept the fact. i never did that badly before. i decided not to go to MSSU formal. i seriously need time for my finals. if i can't do well on finals, i don't know how i should face my potential grad school PI anymore. i don't want the marks to ruin the possibility of me going to grad school either. my mind's so messed up right now. i need some rest. this thought makes me scared, my bad marks were a result of too much playing and resting. i think the next thing i should do is to reschedule my timetable and restart from the beginning.

Firefox vs IE

i heeded my friend's advice and switched my internet browser to firefox. honestly speaking it is much more user friendly than IE7, besides there are cute and useful add-ons optional for firefox. but i found firefox reloads webpages every now and then. i don't really like this feature since the place i'm living at now has bandwidth limit. if i have 10 pages opened and they reload once per minute and if i leave them open for one day i guess at least 25 megabites will be used up. i wish i could disable that feature.

zhu decided to go to vancouver after graduation. well, at least she has sth in her mind. i'll probably go back to china and look for some intern jobs to kill time, provided that everything's settled here before june. Cross fingers...!

boxing day

the boxing day is supposed to be the shopping day, but i found out just to be the opposite. i went to eaton center today and it's just way too crowded everywhere, i accidentally but frequently walked over clothes on the floor, and i saw ppl throwing over stuff cos they were blocked from walking... just a total chaos.

well, i decided to go shopping again on saturday, before the boxing week ends. and hope not everything has sold out yet by that time. my planned route is dufferin walmart -> yorkdale shopping mall in the morning, come back for lunch and go eaton center in the afternoon and drop by the college park dollar shop when coming back. haha. i can buy a day pass and share with my friend on that day, to save some travelling money.

minxing bought a pair of shoes finally, over months after months' agony over leaking problems of her old shoes in rainy days. i was supposed to find her in eaton and shop together, but the sucky rogers failed in cell phone connections. i didn't even manage to call her up there. maybe it's because of too many ppl there, but still, how can the reception be so bad there. my calls were turned to voice mail automatically. rogers sucks.

minxing was asking me why didn't i go shopping earlier if i have sth in mind to buy. well, one thing is items on sale during the boxing week are generally cheaper, and secondly, i was too busy over last week. actually my schedule for next few days until 8th of jan is fully planned out too:
i finished exams on dec 18th
-in the lab from dec 19th to 21st
-spent time together with wash since he left on saturday, took me 22nd and 23rd off
-celebration with friends here on 24th and 25th
-boxing day shopping on 26th
-in the lab from dec 27th to 29th
-planned shopping on 30th
-plan to write lab reports from dec 31st to jan 3rd
-wash is back on 3rd, may spend jan 4th with him
-plan to write letters of intents from jan 5th to 7th
-school starts on 8th

see how packed my schedule is. i still have other stuff to do like make bookings, review bch471 and talk to profs over next week. ahhh, i'm so &^%$*@ up!

gui's bf bought her an ipod nano as his x'mas gift. why my bf doesn't buy me anything... jealous!