bits and pieces

i saw rodents in the kitchen just now, a black ball-like thing sort of flew underneath the oven. i was quite shocked. well, i'm not scared of them at all, coz i suppose they are lovely cute creatures, other than the fact that they may bring infectious parasites with them, they can be just as obedient as cats and dogs.

today's bian's birthday. i would have almost forgotten it if zirong hadn't reminded me on msn. now i miss the time wang was around, he always has a good memory of ppl's birthdays, he's such a walking reminder. stereotypically girls are good at remembering nitty gritty stuff. actually this has nothing to do with gender.

i had my first/last/only mid term for this semester today. not good. now i realise one thing, some ppl were born to be smart, some were born to be stupid; some with more assets, some with fewer. no matter how hard you prepare for the test, how many practise tests you have done, if your IQ's not up to standard, you'll just make mistakes here and there and be unable to solve problems. we can't control it. we just have to accept. from the time when 13 of us went to singapore "for a better education", i have already realised that i was the weaker one. I've done well for all the important exams in singapore, but look at how much effort i put in. to get the same A, i had to put in 150% effort whilst others just need 100%, or even 50%, by ppl like wang. i know i'm not among the very smart ones, but i'm not stupid either. however when i think about ppl who have to struggle for a pass i just feel sorry for them, and sometimes for myself as well, for why i can't be smarter.

as i mentioned, i'm not among the smart ones. as a result my gpa's not that great. i'm just stepping on the borderline for grad schools. i'm not even sure if i'm going to get it. wash analysed my current situation, concluded that i only have 30% chance getting in. so i was quite worried about my future. i don't plan to go back to china after graduation. partly because wash's here, partly coz i've been here for 3 years, with 1 more working year i can settle my status. i don't want to just go back with nothing. i planned to look for jobs asap. then suddenly i realised it might be too early to act now, it's only october... anyway, early birds get the worms. i'll keep an eye on job postings.

i thought career center would be helpful but it turned out to be quite a contrary. biochemistry related companies normally don't post up jobs in university websites. career center website is always infested with excessive ads from engineering/commerce/economics/accounting/finance companies, the long list of irrelevant postings can be a nuisance in the eyes of a biochemist. only at this time i wish i was an engineering/commerce student, considering how broad the job prospective is. i would be laughing my head off if i see 100+ pages of biotech company job postings. i heard the commerce ppl even have their separate career center webpage, with organised career info sessions and everything. how fortunate. biochemists, we are the minority, an ignored population. think how much extra effort we have to pay to search for jobs. don't mention how demoralising the job hunting can be.

actually i'm pretty sure i will be admitted to non-biochem (or equivalent) related grad schools. (biochem's too hardcore) but i don't want to go for grad school just for the sake of going. grad school is not meant for trying, it's for determination, passion and ability. that's why i think working would be a better option for me.

i was quite disappointed by wash's acts today. he forcefully slammed papers onto the table in the exam hall, in the name of "expressing fury of not having solved a question that's meant to be solved in less than X mins". susanna was quite shocked by his actions, and noted "washington has a big temper..." whatever. childish acts. what's the point of expressing anger in public, it only shows the lack of self-control and self-tolerance, shows how immature a person is, regardless of whatever valid reason is behind. such a boy. so not grown up. i had to educate him on this matter later afterwards. honestly speaking when he did the stupid PDA (public display of anger) i really want to declare to the world that i don't know this person at all. such a shame of doing this kind of stupid things in public.