live as if this is the last day

somehow i was reminded of this saying, its appearance in my mind is possibly due to my constant wasting of time recently. days ago when i was enjoying my time playing vedio games at wash's place, he talked to daisy about my lethargy--i spent 10 hours sleeping everyday, 3 hrs eating, 1 hr showering, 2 hrs having classes, 5 hrs surfing the net and the left 4 hrs daydreaming. how vivid the description is. tho not really that true cos i spent a lot of time in the lab as well. but i have to admit that that is my current life--relaxing and meaningless. the lack of motivation can be blamed for this, but the ultimate reason should be my laziness. i'm just too reluctant to begin any new matter, to initiate any new activity. i knew that it's not going to work for me this way, but i'm just unwilling to change anything. i'm satisfied with my current life--this relaxing and meaningless life.

i knew i have to change it, my future somehow depends on my attitude towards life. i don't want to enjoy now and regret later, it's hard to go through the copouts. that's just painful. so i decided to reduce my sleeping time, cutting it down to 7-8 hours, although i knew that my brain functions best after 10 hours of sleep, but never mind. there are things more important than sleep. wash lent me his most recent time magazines, and i finished them all yesterday, feeling very accomplished (haha). this week i've been getting up around 9 everyday, afterall it's not that difficult to climb out the warm quilt. in fact the morning time can be effectively utilised. i think i'll continue this life style. it's good for me.

my suite mate F started looking for jobs later than me, yet she got an interview already. honestly speaking, i'm a little bit jealous about it. but i have to admit that she has her advantages. she got her first master's degree already, and finishing her second now; she has work experience in china; she is a P.R. here now; her GPA is higher than mine; the job market she's searching in is the chemistry industry, which gives broader choices than the biochemistry job market. she's better than me in every aspect, no wonder i can't find any job so far. can't really blame anybody.

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somethings i've seen recently triggered some thinking. my suitemate A's bf came over to visit her from singapore. he planned to stay for one week but extended to 2 weeks after he found out he had extra free time. suitemate A informed everyone about his one week stay before her bf came over. they were very careful and her bf rarely came out from her room, didn't cause any inconvenience in the suite at all.

yesterday the managers of tartu came to our suite, asking suitemate A's bf to move out immediately, saying this is not allowed in the regulation. and they warned A that if she does that again she'll have to leave tartu. dur... everyone knows that but who follows the rule? the rules are there to break, who cares? then A found out that it's C who reported his stay. she's very upset about it. when she talked to C, telling her that she didn't have to bring the managers up. C could just have told A that she didn't feel comfortable living with a guy, and A would move out immediately. then C replied: this is not the point, you broke the rule, that's the point. faint... honestly speaking, who cares... C didn't even think about it, because of her uncomfort (which wasn't an uncomfort at all, i bet she saw the guy less than 2 times over the past one week), how much trouble she has caused A. sigh...