Busy reading week

so, reading week has begun. i don't really feel the holiday atmosphere, maybe it's cos i've way too many things to do this week.

university is no mean feat. in china, entry into a university means total liberty, unless you aim for a postgraduate degree. most of my friends in chinese unis have lead a carefree lifestyle. well, maybe i'm wrong, maybe i didn't see the hardship endured behind the scene.

my schedule's been filled up a week ago, i seriously don't want to take one more glance at the computer generated post-it notes, which remind me how many things have been left undone. everytime i think of it i feel like having a headache. no one likes his or her life to be planned out, me neither. but sometimes we just don't have the choice, we have to closely follow whatever the schedule is. how sad life is. i'm not a born optimist, i can't think of it in a positive way. this feeling bothers me so much, that i began to doubt the meaning of living and life a long time ago. why God created adam and eve? to love them? obviously not. He just wanted his image to be sung, to be praised upon by those mortals, whose lives are fully under his intimidating control. yesterday i watched A.I. cried like hell. man creates robots to fulfill their desire of control, and they don't entitle themselves any responsibility over the creatures. poor robots, poor man. worse still if fate exists, just as what's described in chinese legends, that everyone's life path has been planned once he enters the wheel of life.

digressed a bit... anyway, life has to go on. grieves and sighs aren't helpful to the situation. i still remember what my senior said to me once before, a very vulgar saying, but true to the very extent: life is like being raped, if you can't resist, try to enjoy it.